ejreads

Hi.

I have an eating disorder.

It still feels weird to say. Yes, I am recovering from Anorexia Nervosa, meaning my relationship with food is what one would call, “not great.” I have always had a very small appetite, but when I was 13, I developed my eating disorder– only, I didn’t acknowledge it as one until I was 15-16. Eating has always just been hard for me.

Being a vegetarian didn’t help in the early years as I could just claim there was no vegetarian option and I would eat later…which I never did.  As I got older, vegetarianism actually became a major part of my recovery as eating didn’t harm another creature and I had to learn it wouldn’t harm myself either.

Being vegan for lent may be a challenge, but one I know I can overcome.

What I may not be able to overcome is my anxiety over a date I have tonight. We’re going out to eat, a thing I have never done on a date. I mean, yes, my ex-boyfriend and I did eat, but it was always takeout or drive-thru. Nothing major. This is a sit-down, eat dinner, and keep up a conversation date. I don’t know how prepared I am for that. In fact, I don’t even know how prepared I am to go on this date in general, but that’s another story.

Long story short: I wrote this post because I got really anxious and looked up every Indian food restaurant in the Mission District to figure out where we were going and what I’m going to order so I don’t have a panic attack at the restaurant.

Wish me luck?

ej.

For those of you who don’t know me, I grew up Christian. I am Christian still, however, I have updated my faith to suit me; in doing so, I incorporated astrology, energy, and whatever else makes sense to me. God is integral to my faith– I just believe He works with the universe and its power as opposed to being responsible for everything.

Wow, that was a heavy intro. Let’s veer away from the heavy stuff.

Lent.

For those unaware, lent is a, primarily Catholic, practice where one gives up something they cherish from Ash Wednesday to Palm Sunday. As a Christian, my church observes it different. We have a 40 day fast from the day following Ash Wednesday to Palm Sunday.

So, I’m going vegan for 40 days.

I have always wanted to go vegan and if I can for 40 days, that would be awesome.
I’ll have updates on here periodically, not that I think anyone cares, but because it will keep me more accountable.

ok. bye.

ej

Hi friends.

It’s been a quick minute hasn’t it?

Continue reading “where i’ve been” →