coping

The world is kind of wild right now.

Coronavirus has taken over 2020. It has forced me home from the most stressful 2 months of my life and pushed me into a dystopian world. I know I’m not special. There are so many people who are in the exact same situation as I am and a lot who have it worse. I get that. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard for me.

I feel like we are constantly told we aren’t allowed to have a hard time with this because others have it worse. We are told this is the time to learn a new language, skill, or trade– that if we walk away from this time without having done so, we wasted our time.

For anyone who needs to hear this– this is a traumatic experience for everyone. You are allowed to have productivity look different during this time. You are allowed to cope anyway you need to. Your feelings are valid.

I haven’t been coping very well at all. For those who don’t know, I’m an RA at SF State.  If you live in the Bay or spend a lot of time on Twitter, you may know my school got a lot of backlash for the way they handled COVID19.  It doesn’t help that from the end of January to the middle of March, I felt like I was dying. The RA job was much more stressful than I thought it would be, and I was thrown into a shitshow topped off with a cockroach infestation in my room.

I don’t mind any of this. The University was doing its best in an unforeseen circumstance. Fine. Whatever. What made this transition specifically hard for me was that I had been one wrong move away from a breakdown for 2 months. This was my breaking point. I spent the whole first week home hanging out with my boyfriend and trying to feel normal. Now that we are in quarantine, I’ve gone back to high alert.

All this is to say, I haven’t been doing well.

So I have been coping with a lot of distractions. Animal Crossing on the Nintendo Switch has been an ULTIMATE distraction for me. When you can’t control anything around you, Animal Crossing fulfills that need like you wouldn’t believe.

Binging teen dramas! I have recently restarted The Secret Life of the American Teenager on Hulu and WOW is it exactly what I needed. Focusing on the drama of an iconic Shailene Woodley getting pregnant at 15 and having the rich son of the “Sausage King” and the troubled bad boy fighting to be the father instead of all the craziness going on in the real world ??? SIGN ME UP.

Within the last couple of days, I have finalllyyyyy gotten back on my bullshit of reading. On Friday, I finished 3 books, one of which I started that day. I am also participating in the Magical Readathon  taking place the entire month of April. Additionally, I am going to be participating in the Stay Home Reading Rush  taking place from 4/16-4/19. These readathons will *hopefully* encourage me to keep up my reading this quarantine!

Also, since I have plenttyyyyy of time, I will hopefully be sticking to a stricter schedule of posting (like you haven’t heard that before). But I hope to have 2-3 posts per week with at least one being a fleshed-out review.

wish me luck!

stay safe, stay home, and wash those hands!

Love always,

ej